


my full blown implosion (i'll stay golden and retreat)

by antfrost



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Abusive Wilbur Soot, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Dream SMP Spoilers, Dream Smp, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Evil Wilbur Soot, Explosives, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by Music, Manberg, Manberg Festival, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Minecraft IRL, No Beta, Not RPF, POV Third Person Limited, POV Wilbur Soot, Pogtopia, Song Lyrics, Song:Icicles (The Scary Jokes), Songfic, The Scary Jokes, Threats, Villain Wilbur Soot, War, Wilbur Soot Angst, Wilbur Soot-centric, l'manberg, man., morality issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27011344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antfrost/pseuds/antfrost
Summary: a character study songfic about wilbur soot.
Relationships: Eret & Wilbur Soot, Floris | Fundy & Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot, No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Kudos: 99





	my full blown implosion (i'll stay golden and retreat)

> _ Get in your zone, don’t even look at them all _
> 
> _ Their shallow observations will only stall the transformation _

Wilbur was crouching in the cave. It was dark and cramped, which only seemed to compound his overwhelming thoughts. They seemed to completely surround him, he couldn’t get away.

And it was tearing him apart.

You see, Wilbur had started to accept that nobody in this world could be trusted. Every single person he had ever met? They wanted nothing more than to see him fall. It made him sick to his fucking stomach to think about it. What did they know about what’s good for L’Manberg?

Only he knows what’s good for L’Manberg. For  _ his _ L’Manberg.

Nobody else’s.

> _ You’ve become art, how could they even start to see _
> 
> _ Beyond your presentation, when they’ve got no imagination? _

His thoughts shifted to them all, his stomach twisting in knots.

Tommy. What a fucking arrogant child. He once saw the teenager as a son to him, and a potential heir to L’Manberg.

...Certainly better than his “real” son.

But lately, he was fucking sick of Tommy. Tommy had too much fucking nerve. He didn’t give a shit if Tommy chose to follow him or not. He could drop dead, for all Wilbur cared. Just like the fucking rest of them.

> _ But I admit, it would be easier _
> 
> _ To be relieved of all this shame and not have to wear it on my sleeve _

He smiled to himself at the mental image of Manberg burned to the fucking ground. Nothing left of it. No evidence of his done-wrongs.

Wilbur found that idea to be quite soothing.

It could just be him in the end. No Manberg, and no one else. Nobody else fucking mattered anyways.

> _ I imagine it’s quite nice for you _
> 
> _ To have so many chances, oh so many ways to be redeemed _

He thought of Eret. That disgusting fucking traitor, Eret. The traitor who now had the fucking gall to claim he wanted to help? It infuriated Wilbur. How fucking dare he betray L’Manberg and then act like they needed or even wanted his help?

And he thought of Fundy.

The son he had once promised to protect.

Fundy didn’t give a shit about him, Wilbur knew that. He cared once, but he’s given up at this point. Fundy can feel whatever the fuck he wants about him.

Fundy was never a very good son, anyways. Wilbur wishes he fucking knew that.

> _ But as for me…. _

He thinks again of a destroyed Manberg and grins.

> _ Oh, I can only be forgiven if I’m giving myself up to you _
> 
> _ On a silver serving tray _

He thinks back to the night that the election results had been announced.

He thinks back to the fucking dread in his heart when he realized who had won.

> _ Must I bear myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth _
> 
> _ While our lovely company appears so entertained? _

Schlatt’s speech rung in his fucking head.

And he remembered running. He remembered the raw, unbridled fear and rage in his heart as he ran, and ran, and ran.

> _ Why yes, good etiquette demands _
> 
> _ I remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending _

Wilbur remembers Schlatt telling Tubbo to hunt them down. He feels fucking disgusted when he remembers how Tubbo agreed.

He remembers his own fucking son, Fundy, that bastard… He remembers Fundy tearing down the walls with no fucking sign of caring.

The very walls he had built to protect him.

Severing the last fucking thread that connected the two.

Wilbur remembered feeling nothing. Completely fucking numb.

> _ So I will try to be discreet _
> 
> _ Through my full blown implosion, I’ll stay golden and retreat _

As his thoughts continued to spiral to deeper and darker places, he laughed.

He thought of the TNT he had been stashing away, and he laughed.

He broke into a fit of hysterical laughter, no longer caring about anyone he had in the past.

> _ Into my sweetest fantasy _

And oddly, Wilbur felt happy.

> _ The one where you are crying _
> 
> _ And I don’t do anything at all _

He remembered Tommy’s reaction when he told him he would never be president.

The hurt in his eyes would have worried Wilbur in the past, but now? It brought him a sick sense of amusement.

> _ My world has turned so cold, but I won’t cry _
> 
> _ ‘Cause icicles don’t soften when they die - _
> 
> _ So why should I? _

He imagines what their reactions would be when he blew up the fucking festival once and for all.

> _ Icicles don’t soften when they die _
> 
> _ They sharpen into sabers and they stab you in the eye _

And amidst his terrible, horrible, sick thoughts, he smiles. In the end, it doesn’t matter what happens.

In the end, it will only be him left. And that’s fine with him.

Wilbur doesn’t mind being alone, so long as he no longer has to watch the destruction of his country, and the betrayal of those he trusted.

And Wilbur decides that he doesn’t mind being the villain.


End file.
